Holistic Divorce Counseling

Holistic Divorce Counseling Nicole S. Urdang, M.S., NCC, DHM. Free support, resources, and comfort for all life's issues and transitions.

Dealing with Overwhelming Feelings December 3, 2008

Don’t be afraid of your fear.  When you fight tooth and nail against what is true for you now not only do you deny yourself great opportunities to grow, you add to your misery.  Whatever is front and center is exactly right at this moment, even if it feels lousy. It is perfectly normal to ride a roller coaster of emotions. One minute you’re soaring with joy and the next you’re in the abyss.  It’s just as it should be.  Your world is in crisis. Is it reasonable to expect emotional stability?

Being in the midst of a tempest means you’re internally adjusting from second to second. It’s natural to think you are coming undone, but you’re not.  When your body-mind-spirit is overloaded numbness is another self-protective option to cope with your vacillating emotions.  It’s OK.  It will pass.  The trick to walking this path is to make it safe to feel everything, even in quick succession, no matter how surprising or unpleasant.

Your dance of grief, joy, anxiety, optimism, etc. is unique to you.  Therefore, no one, no matter how much they care, can accurately assess or comment on your process. But, people will offer their unsolicited opinions and tell you what you should or shouldn’t be feeling.  Sift the useful from the useless and ditch the latter.

Trust yourself. Part of your task now is to discover how you can let go and catch yourself before you fall. Through trial and error you will learn to be your own life boat, making you feel safe by accepting all moods and emotions. Be patient with yourself as you lovingly witness them coming and going.  Ride them like a wave, welcoming each as a teacher offering vital life lessons.

Use all your experiences as catalysts encouraging a shift in perspective, and in your self-concept.  What a perfect time to reconfigure your view of you.  Let everything help you home in on what’s important, and avoid what’s merely distraction from your true path.

Remember: your taking the very best care of you not only improves your outlook, but it helps heal the world.  Practice loving your sweet self and see what happens.

Copyright Nicole S. Urdang

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